[ ah, he stops in his tracks for a second. he was thinking more like, can he slide his hands under nero's shirt in public or turn his face his way and kiss him without nero throwing a fit like usual. but now he's thinking of this. ]
somehow, the more embarrassing question - the one that gets Nero flustered most, that gets the back of his hand over his mouth and half his face, gaze falling away. The self-punishing part of him tells him he doesn't deserve this, doesn't deserve hearing it again, not the way Brad says it so fondly, so earnestly, so sincerely. The bitter part of him remembers the word as a shackle and a millstone; the guilty part of him wants Brad to berate him instead.
But the part of him that's always missed Brad remains, as has the part that's always loved him and what they used to be, before it all went sour.
He could protest. He has, all this time. But aren't things different now? Brad has the reigns; Brad owns his promise, and he could do whatever he wants with Nero. That's what Nero tells himself; that's how he rationalizes it.
Because he's afraid of saying yes. Because he's afraid of being so eager to jump right back to his same mistake, and tread the same path again - Brad always almost dead. But he doesn't have a choice, does he? (Or so he tells himself, again.)
( He parts his mouth to answer, which means he can't hide the first lewd sound that escapes his lips - and he immediately closes it, red as hell. But there's no doubt from the way soft gasps escape him and he shifts into the touch that he's feeling it :/ )
Hey— Don't— When I'm trying to, mmh, answer—
( ugh!!! He can spare one hand to push at Brad's chest to emphasize his point. )
I just— I'm yours, aren't I? So you get to decide what we are, now. And— if I hated it that bad, I'd say somethin'...
( He'll probably regret letting it slip he's into the idea too, but alcohol leads to looser lips and less awareness, so, )
[ while nero's busy complaining, bradley's hand has found it's way up to roll nero's shirt as far as it'll go, lowering himself over him to kiss a trail of wet kisses down his neck, to his collarbone, jumping past the rolled-up fabric and onto the soft skin of his chest. ]
. . . Then just be mine, and in exchange— [ he runs his tongue richly over the sensitive nipple right underneath, before wrapping his lips around it to suck, occasionally grazing it with his teeth. ] . . . —I'll be yours.
[ so it wouldn't be, for once, a one-sided relationship where nero's little more than a glorified underling, and more of an equal standing this time. ]
( His hands slide from Brad's chest to his shoulders, then tangled in his hair, at rest somewhere along the back of his neck as Brad works. But, fuck, that gets him just as bad as the kisses do, and Brad can feel it - the way the shiver runs down him when Brad speaks.
His lips part, and - he swallows. He hesitates, again. He wants it, he wants it, but... )
... You sure you wanna give yourself to someone who threw you away once before?
( He didn't, at heart. He said he did, he acted like he did, but he never let go. But, in Brad's view - Nero's sure it sure as hell seemed that way, and Nero spent a lot of time wanting it, betraying Brad every time he tied to break apart what they had, and what Brad kept trying to build back up.
His tone is thick with guilt. )
... Someone like me... doesn't deserve someone 's amazing as you... If I do it again— I could do it again. And I'd just go down with you...
( Even in this hypothetical scenario, he doesn't break his promise. He won't leave Brad again. He'll accept judgment. And if he does do in Brad somehow, he's going with him.
But Brad deserves better than that. Better than him. )
[ as turned on as he is by nero slowly losing himself under his touch, he knows he has to keep his wits about for at least long enough to respond and alleviate his anxiety. this comment in particular is something brad knows is a sour spot for both, but thankfully, bradley had a hundred years to consider the topic, so he simply raises his head slightly to meet his eyes. ]
I didn't like it, but . . . I'm glad you did it.
[ he lifts his hand to touch the side of nero's face, smiling an uncharacteristically soft smile. ]
'Cause now you've seen your life with me and without me, and you can decide which one you'd rather have.
( More than anything, he hates it when Brad is right.
Brad meets his eyes, and the connection holds - before Nero, as always, breaks it, always a little too faltering to hold his own in the face of Brad's relentless conviction, his sweltering affection. He could never be like him, no matter how much he wanted to. He could only ever be as little as he is.
And yet, Brad still wanted him. Why? Why? )
... It's weird...
( He can't help it; on instinct, his cheek comes to rest against Bradley's palm, closing his eyes. )
... I wanted so bad to get away, but I didn't feel like I was livin'. I couldn't stand seein' you all ripped up, but bein' out on my own...
( It was all right. It wasn't all bad. But he felt like a husk. An overbearing depression that made his mind a swamp; made it hard to think of the here and now, even on the best of days. Little things reminded him of Brad, and the gang. His thoughts would wander and he'd recall the past. He liked the shops he opened up, and he liked the people he met, the sort of stuff he got to do that he wouldn't have gotten to if he'd never gone out on his own.
But, still. Even then. )
... I didn'... feel like I had the right to miss you.
[ is this a bad time to tell nero that just looking at his face makes his dick hard? even when he's sad like this, avoiding his gaze, pressing into his palm with his eyes closed... well. he doesn't need to tell him. nero can probably feel it anyway. he huffs. ]
You won't be on your own again, Nero. I won't let you.
[ his partner, the most important person in his life, the only one he could leave his enormous legacy to, the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with... truthfully, despite being the one that asked, he has no words to describe his bond with nero. "boyfriend" was too silly. "husband" implied some contract with the government. "lover" felt more carnal than emotional... there was nothing to describe the deep love he felt for the anxious guy under him, who missed him so much he didn't know what to do with himself, like an idiot. ]
And I know you did miss me. 'Cause I missed you, too.
( Please don't get a boner while he's having having an emotional introspective monologue ???? Flush runs deeper across his cheeks again - in part because he can feel it, and, much more heavy in his heart, because of what Brad says. His chest echoes with his heavy heartbeats.
He hates it. He hates how Brad always tells him how he feels, and how he's sometimes (usually) not even wrong. He feels vulnerable and laid bare, but - it doesn't feel wrong. It's not like being exposed to a stranger, or an enemy, or even a friend - it's just - Brad's just - a part of him, and has been for a long time.
He turns his face half into Brad's hand, as if to hide himself - but this time, not turned away from him. )
... I just don't know what to do with you.
( Stupid, stupid Brad. Brad who still cares for him, wants him beside him, despite everything. Brad who can still look at him like this, talk to him like this, like he needs him.
It reminds him of that night, over a hundred years ago now, when Brad had begged him not to go. But this Brad is confident, comfortable, presumptuous; telling him they won't be apart, telling him how he feels, when Nero wants to deny it.
But, for once, he doesn't.
He mutters into Brad's palm: )
... That thing you asked earlier... ( About Brad asking if they can get handsy whenever, ) ... do whatever you want. 'm... fine with whatever, if it's you.
( Is he going to regret this later? Maybe. But also, Nero is almost as horny for Brad as Brad is for him. He's dignity might regret it, but his body sure won't, )
[ ..........hello? did nero just give him explicit permission to fondle and kiss him in public? he blinks down at him a few times, his voice stammering for a few syllables before speaking. ]
. . . Yeah?
[ this is new territory, even for him. back when they were in the gang, even at the time he was closest with nero, he never went out of his way to do anything of the sort in front of the other gang members. if it ever happened, it was done as a joke, but never with full romantic seriousness or sexual intent. this here feels different, like something couples do, and the question appears in his mind again— the question of the name of his relationship with nero, the question he literally just a second ago said he didn't want to answer.
his heart is racing - which is surprising, considering how little blood is left in his body to circulate. he huffs a smile, caressing nero's face and tucking his hair behind his ear. ]
You'll regret those words, partner.
[ yeah, well. "partner" has always been the term brad prefers, at the end of the day. partner means nero, even though he's aware it sounds childish and silly to others. when brad says it, he means it in a very intimate way, because it's the closest thing to his heart aside from family. he lowers himself back down to kiss him slowly and deep; his free hand slides down to tug at the hem of nero's pants, starting to feel a little antsy despite trying his best to make this last as long as possible. ]
( He'll absolutely regret them. But, right now - he doesn't want to. Brad calling him partner turns him on almost more than anything else, and he thinks he almost picks up the scent of those icy caverns in the north - the scent of their cramped little hideout, the distant sounds of the other guys not too far away, something half-finished in the kitchen, still simmering 'til it's time to serve.
It feels like home.
He kisses Brad back just as deep, feeling Brad hard against his stomach is almost as unbearable as his own pants feeling tight on him. Brad's hands, frustratingly, don't help him out of them - and he presses into his hands, his heel pressing down into the fabric of his pants to help tug it down, like giving Brad permission - and telling him to get on with it.
All this feelings talk has been just as bad on Nero's building need as it has been Brad, his fingers tangling in Brad's hair with one hand, nails digging into his back against the other, his scars like textured rivets against his skin - marks of Brad's strength, and always reminders that... for as strong as Brad was, he'd still brought him down, once. And that's a weight he'll always carry, no matter how much Brad wants to relieve him of it, even in moments like this, so long as he can still think. )
[ bradley only has so much patience when faced with a needy, horny nero, and he figures they've savored enough foreplay for magic to finally come into play. barely breaking their kiss, with their lips still together, he mutters his spell into nero's mouth, removing the rest of their clothes.
he rolls his hips slowly, rocking his hard cock against nero's stomach, kissing him back absently as he guides his own hand down to feel between nero's thighs for his entrance. as wizards, there's things they don't have to worry about and things that just naturally happen, and by now, with the countless times they've done it in the past, he knows how to tell when nero's so fucking wet he's about to go insane. it's a combination of those nails on his back and that grip on his hair, plus the countless little noises that come out of his mouth. nero might find it mortifying just how easily brad gets him horny, but for bradley it's always an ego boost. ]
Haha. Can't wait, huh? . . . At this rate you'll be done before we even start.
[ a theory he decides to test out by pushing two fingers inside him with ease, as far as they will go, hooking them and unrolling them to begin a steady rhythm that quickly rises in tempo. fucking him with his fingers until he comes might make nero mad, but wasn't that a good thing, really? he's doing him a favor by making the real thing last longer - like when guys jerk off before a date. it's the same thing. ]
( i'd say let him finish, but this isn't the kind of finish nero wants,
Brad's right it'll make him mad as hell. The first sound that escapes his lips into the kiss is embarrassing as hell, and every sound after is muffled between pursed lips - Nero trying to get out his hey—'s and knock it off, i'll kill you—'s between each press against his damn sensitive spot. But it doesn't take long for his protests to devolve into something more like just get it over with, a sort of needy pleading because he wants something more than this, and Brad knows exactly what, before he comes, and comes hard. He breathes hard, nails dug deep into Brad's scalp and neck, enough to draw deep, red lines - but his body relaxes.
Unfortunately, he's still horny as hell - he's just wetter between the legs now; stomach, too, from Brad's precum. And that just turns him on more. Fuck. )
... You're... the worst... ( And then, with need: ) Just— come on...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
. . . You're my partner, right?
[ what else is there dot gif????? ]
no subject
that's
somehow, the more embarrassing question - the one that gets Nero flustered most, that gets the back of his hand over his mouth and half his face, gaze falling away. The self-punishing part of him tells him he doesn't deserve this, doesn't deserve hearing it again, not the way Brad says it so fondly, so earnestly, so sincerely. The bitter part of him remembers the word as a shackle and a millstone; the guilty part of him wants Brad to berate him instead.
But the part of him that's always missed Brad remains, as has the part that's always loved him and what they used to be, before it all went sour.
He could protest. He has, all this time. But aren't things different now? Brad has the reigns; Brad owns his promise, and he could do whatever he wants with Nero. That's what Nero tells himself; that's how he rationalizes it.
Because he's afraid of saying yes. Because he's afraid of being so eager to jump right back to his same mistake, and tread the same path again - Brad always almost dead. But he doesn't have a choice, does he? (Or so he tells himself, again.)
He mutters: )
... If that's what you want us to be.
no subject
You get a choice in this too, y'know.
[ don't think too hard about him fondling your chest meanwhile. ]
no subject
Hey— Don't— When I'm trying to, mmh, answer—
( ugh!!! He can spare one hand to push at Brad's chest to emphasize his point. )
I just— I'm yours, aren't I? So you get to decide what we are, now. And— if I hated it that bad, I'd say somethin'...
( He'll probably regret letting it slip he's into the idea too, but alcohol leads to looser lips and less awareness, so, )
no subject
. . . Then just be mine, and in exchange— [ he runs his tongue richly over the sensitive nipple right underneath, before wrapping his lips around it to suck, occasionally grazing it with his teeth. ] . . . —I'll be yours.
[ so it wouldn't be, for once, a one-sided relationship where nero's little more than a glorified underling, and more of an equal standing this time. ]
no subject
His lips part, and - he swallows. He hesitates, again. He wants it, he wants it, but... )
... You sure you wanna give yourself to someone who threw you away once before?
( He didn't, at heart. He said he did, he acted like he did, but he never let go. But, in Brad's view - Nero's sure it sure as hell seemed that way, and Nero spent a lot of time wanting it, betraying Brad every time he tied to break apart what they had, and what Brad kept trying to build back up.
His tone is thick with guilt. )
... Someone like me... doesn't deserve someone 's amazing as you... If I do it again— I could do it again. And I'd just go down with you...
( Even in this hypothetical scenario, he doesn't break his promise. He won't leave Brad again. He'll accept judgment. And if he does do in Brad somehow, he's going with him.
But Brad deserves better than that. Better than him. )
no subject
I didn't like it, but . . . I'm glad you did it.
[ he lifts his hand to touch the side of nero's face, smiling an uncharacteristically soft smile. ]
'Cause now you've seen your life with me and without me, and you can decide which one you'd rather have.
[ he knows nero knows the answer, too. ]
no subject
( More than anything, he hates it when Brad is right.
Brad meets his eyes, and the connection holds - before Nero, as always, breaks it, always a little too faltering to hold his own in the face of Brad's relentless conviction, his sweltering affection. He could never be like him, no matter how much he wanted to. He could only ever be as little as he is.
And yet, Brad still wanted him. Why? Why? )
... It's weird...
( He can't help it; on instinct, his cheek comes to rest against Bradley's palm, closing his eyes. )
... I wanted so bad to get away, but I didn't feel like I was livin'. I couldn't stand seein' you all ripped up, but bein' out on my own...
( It was all right. It wasn't all bad. But he felt like a husk. An overbearing depression that made his mind a swamp; made it hard to think of the here and now, even on the best of days. Little things reminded him of Brad, and the gang. His thoughts would wander and he'd recall the past. He liked the shops he opened up, and he liked the people he met, the sort of stuff he got to do that he wouldn't have gotten to if he'd never gone out on his own.
But, still. Even then. )
... I didn'... feel like I had the right to miss you.
no subject
You won't be on your own again, Nero. I won't let you.
[ his partner, the most important person in his life, the only one he could leave his enormous legacy to, the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with... truthfully, despite being the one that asked, he has no words to describe his bond with nero. "boyfriend" was too silly. "husband" implied some contract with the government. "lover" felt more carnal than emotional... there was nothing to describe the deep love he felt for the anxious guy under him, who missed him so much he didn't know what to do with himself, like an idiot. ]
And I know you did miss me. 'Cause I missed you, too.
[ so there. ]
no subject
He hates it. He hates how Brad always tells him how he feels, and how he's sometimes (usually) not even wrong. He feels vulnerable and laid bare, but - it doesn't feel wrong. It's not like being exposed to a stranger, or an enemy, or even a friend - it's just - Brad's just - a part of him, and has been for a long time.
He turns his face half into Brad's hand, as if to hide himself - but this time, not turned away from him. )
... I just don't know what to do with you.
( Stupid, stupid Brad. Brad who still cares for him, wants him beside him, despite everything. Brad who can still look at him like this, talk to him like this, like he needs him.
It reminds him of that night, over a hundred years ago now, when Brad had begged him not to go. But this Brad is confident, comfortable, presumptuous; telling him they won't be apart, telling him how he feels, when Nero wants to deny it.
But, for once, he doesn't.
He mutters into Brad's palm: )
... That thing you asked earlier... ( About Brad asking if they can get handsy whenever, ) ... do whatever you want. 'm... fine with whatever, if it's you.
( Is he going to regret this later? Maybe. But also, Nero is almost as horny for Brad as Brad is for him. He's dignity might regret it, but his body sure won't, )
no subject
. . . Yeah?
[ this is new territory, even for him. back when they were in the gang, even at the time he was closest with nero, he never went out of his way to do anything of the sort in front of the other gang members. if it ever happened, it was done as a joke, but never with full romantic seriousness or sexual intent. this here feels different, like something couples do, and the question appears in his mind again— the question of the name of his relationship with nero, the question he literally just a second ago said he didn't want to answer.
his heart is racing - which is surprising, considering how little blood is left in his body to circulate. he huffs a smile, caressing nero's face and tucking his hair behind his ear. ]
You'll regret those words, partner.
[ yeah, well. "partner" has always been the term brad prefers, at the end of the day. partner means nero, even though he's aware it sounds childish and silly to others. when brad says it, he means it in a very intimate way, because it's the closest thing to his heart aside from family. he lowers himself back down to kiss him slowly and deep; his free hand slides down to tug at the hem of nero's pants, starting to feel a little antsy despite trying his best to make this last as long as possible. ]
no subject
It feels like home.
He kisses Brad back just as deep, feeling Brad hard against his stomach is almost as unbearable as his own pants feeling tight on him. Brad's hands, frustratingly, don't help him out of them - and he presses into his hands, his heel pressing down into the fabric of his pants to help tug it down, like giving Brad permission - and telling him to get on with it.
All this feelings talk has been just as bad on Nero's building need as it has been Brad, his fingers tangling in Brad's hair with one hand, nails digging into his back against the other, his scars like textured rivets against his skin - marks of Brad's strength, and always reminders that... for as strong as Brad was, he'd still brought him down, once. And that's a weight he'll always carry, no matter how much Brad wants to relieve him of it, even in moments like this, so long as he can still think. )
no subject
he rolls his hips slowly, rocking his hard cock against nero's stomach, kissing him back absently as he guides his own hand down to feel between nero's thighs for his entrance. as wizards, there's things they don't have to worry about and things that just naturally happen, and by now, with the countless times they've done it in the past, he knows how to tell when nero's so fucking wet he's about to go insane. it's a combination of those nails on his back and that grip on his hair, plus the countless little noises that come out of his mouth. nero might find it mortifying just how easily brad gets him horny, but for bradley it's always an ego boost. ]
Haha. Can't wait, huh? . . . At this rate you'll be done before we even start.
[ a theory he decides to test out by pushing two fingers inside him with ease, as far as they will go, hooking them and unrolling them to begin a steady rhythm that quickly rises in tempo. fucking him with his fingers until he comes might make nero mad, but wasn't that a good thing, really? he's doing him a favor by making the real thing last longer - like when guys jerk off before a date. it's the same thing. ]
no subject
( i'd say let him finish, but this isn't the kind of finish nero wants,
Brad's right it'll make him mad as hell. The first sound that escapes his lips into the kiss is embarrassing as hell, and every sound after is muffled between pursed lips - Nero trying to get out his hey—'s and knock it off, i'll kill you—'s between each press against his damn sensitive spot. But it doesn't take long for his protests to devolve into something more like just get it over with, a sort of needy pleading because he wants something more than this, and Brad knows exactly what, before he comes, and comes hard. He breathes hard, nails dug deep into Brad's scalp and neck, enough to draw deep, red lines - but his body relaxes.
Unfortunately, he's still horny as hell - he's just wetter between the legs now; stomach, too, from Brad's precum. And that just turns him on more. Fuck. )
... You're... the worst... ( And then, with need: ) Just— come on...